Dear men in networking: I don’t care about your language—I just want to be treated with respect

Forewarning: This is a rant and I believe it is a perspective that needs to be shared. That’s it.

I’m a female network engineer working in a NOC full of only men. They’re always tripping over themselves to not curse or use weird vulgar analogies when complaining about our company’s executives or whatever because “Oops, can’t say that because celestialparrotlets is in the room!”

I’ve never given a negative response to the dumb things they say about our company/execs and have never given any indication of a reaction other than to chuckle sometimes, because I honestly don’t care and sometimes it’s funny to me. I get it, we’re blowing off steam. But these guys still get all weird about it when I’m in the room. My manager will loudly warn everyone about getting in trouble with HR and then pointedly look at me when this happens.

Give you one guess as to why.

These same dudes worried about me hearing their nasty, unoriginal analogies for bending over for our execs or whatever are the same ones who won’t ever answer any of my questions or address my ideas with a straight face. I constantly get teased like we’re all in middle school and these guys have a crush on me or something. It’s demeaning and infuriating.

Can I share a secret with you all? The women in your workplace don’t really care about the dumbass stuff you say when you’re letting off steam. We’ve all heard Bad Words before; it’s nothing new. We just want to be treated with respect like anyone else and be taken seriously. So please stop teasing us and either answer the goddamn question we just asked you or go fuck off and we’ll ask someone else.

Also, if you can’t handle yourself enough around a woman who is mildly attractive in order to answer a procedural question, rethink your life and get some help.