Dave's Top 10 - Networking Customer Arguments

This is just for fun. Intended for anybody who has something funny to share, whether an Service Provider, Customer, or Vendor alike! What is some of the crazy messed up stuff that people have tried to argue with you on? Could be a short story or your own top 10 list of what you've heard that just made you do a double take or express your inner Jackie Chan face. I'm having a rough time at work and thought I'd do something to cheer myself up. I've put these in no particular order, but the ones I hear the most are near #1-4. I still cringe at the e-mail I received for #5 and had to censor myself on that one.

1. Vendor days it is not our problem on our equipment *points to ISP*

2. We're sending you the routes

3. We experienced 5 seconds of downtime, please provide RFO

4. ARP is Layer 3

5. I'm losing a million dollars for every minute I'm down! Get somebody out there now!

6. My traceroute shows latency on an IP that belongs to you, but the last hop shows no loss.

7. QoS should allow me to max out my bandwidth without voice issues.

8. Sales told me that feature is supported.

9. It's never DNS

10. Nothing changed on my end, the problem is on your end.