Saturday, July 14, 2018

I'm a fraud

When i was 18 i was so desperate to move to the city from my small village, i just applied to a random course without any thought , and that course turned out to be Networked Systems Engineering. After the first few weeks i knew it wasn't my thing, and I just couldn't click with the material, but i was so determined to not go back home a failure - So i stuck it out. Now the problem with the education system - I didn't learn a thing, I was just a pro at memorizing questions and answers - so the day before exams i would cram cram cram. Go into the exam and get over 80% every time. The next day everything that i crammed i would just forget about. So after 4 years i finished university with a First Class Bachelor Engineering Degree in Networked Systems Engineering.

I went back home and didn't really know what to do, so i just thought i'd apply to jobs related to my degree. I lucked out, got into a position as a graduate network design engineer for a rising telecoms company - mainly because they liked my personality in the interview. I was chosen out of over 50 applicants ( This was without any certifications e.g. CCNA, JNCIA etc...) In my first year, literally every piece of work & design i done was entirely collated through using Google and YouTube or by making friendships with senior engineers and finding out their strong points and getting them to help me with my design. In that first year the company were so impressed with me and my work, i got a promotion to a fully fledged IP Design Engineer from my graduate position.

So now i'm here in this company, still with very little knowledge of networking - i'm 24 now and i feel like it might be too late to start doing my certifications like CCNA etc and actually learning networking. It's embarrassing. I feel like a total fraud, I've managed to get all this way getting a degree and getting a very good job for a beginner in the field simply through my ability to come across like i know what i'm talking about/ by cramming and using google/ by being personable and easy to talk to.

Now i have friends from my Uni course that were really passionate about networking, they live for it, yet they're stuck doing 1st/2nd line support, working their way up from the bottom doing tickets and on call etc. meanwhile i somehow ended up in this high end position without having to work from the bottom - it makes me feel guilty. I feel like i'm stuck and i really don't know what to do.I feel like every other person around me is a total gizzard, knows what they're doing and love it. There's just this constant thought it my head that everything will come crashing down on me eventually. I just wanted to share my story and guess i'm writing this to find out if anyone has been in the same boat, or has any thoughts or opinions.

TL:DR - Crammed through Uni & got networking degree without actually learning. Got a good job because of my personality rather than technical ability. Getting through job by constantly using Google and pulling work together from other engineers. Given a promotion = 24 year old fraud that doesn't know what to do.



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